5 Simple Steps You Can Take To Change Your Money Mindset

by Mary Beth Storjohann

Change and control go hand in hand. Some changes fall easily into your scope of control, whereas others remain just outside it. You can’t control the weather no matter how much you wish that sunny January morning was actually sparkling snow. But there are other times when it doesn’t feel like you have control over a situation when you really do — and your personal financial health (and money mindset) is certainly one of them. People often fixate on the money aspects they can’t control, like the market or returns, instead of focusing on what they can control like savings, spending, investing, goal-setting, and more. 

When it comes to personal finance, whether or not you feel in control has everything to do with perspective. Your financial perspective is also known as your money mindset. What is a money mindset and do you have the power to change it? Let’s find out. 

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What’s a Money Mindset?

Similar to a money script, a money mindset is the unique attitude, perspective,  and narrative you weave using your thoughts, actions, and beliefs toward money. Your money mindset extends beyond the bounds of your personal life and enters into your general feelings toward finances. 

Your money mindset informs the way you manage, save, spend, and invest your money. When you better understand your perspective toward your money, you begin to see where your financial habits come from. A money mindset influences your thoughts and actions, which can have both positive and negative consequences.

Someone with a healthy money mindset likely feels confident, secure, knowledgeable, and energized about their financial life. Someone with a negative money mindset might feel anxious, guarded, or uncomfortable about their financial situation. Not sure where you fall? Ask yourself some questions to help shed light on your money mindset: 

• How does your financial situation make you feel?
• Are you comfortable talking with your spouse, parents, friends, etc. about money matters?
• Do you like your financial habits?
• Are you secure in your financial future?
• Do you often compare your financial situation to others?
• Are you confident you can achieve your financial goals?

These questions help reveal how you view money. It illustrates how you see your debt, whether you make healthy financial choices, how confident you are in your financial future, and so much more. 

How is Your Money Mindset Formed?

Your money mindset is formed from your distinct lived experiences. Everyone has a different story and relationship with money because everyone has had different experiences with it throughout their lives. Someone who worked during high school and college might have a different perspective on saving than someone whose first job was well into their 20s. 

Along with your personal experiences, your mindset is also formed by how money impacted the people closest to you. 

• Was money a taboo topic in your house? 
• Were your parents or loved ones constantly stressed about money? 
• Did your family prioritize charitable giving? 
• Was financial literacy a core topic of conversation in your house?

All of these past experiences likely influence your attitude and approach toward money today. Someone who grew up in an environment where money was a sore spot might not like managing their finances (or might always worry about having enough money to support themselves and their family).

Your attitudes and perspectives are shaped by the people around you, and those closest to you tend to profoundly influence your thoughts and beliefs. As the saying goes, you are who you spend time with, 

Why Care About Your Money Mindset?

As noted earlier, your money mindset is directly connected to your current financial habits. It affects how you approach money, the way you view and use debt, how you think about your future, and how you view the financial habits of others. 

When you know how you approach money, you’ll be more equipped to make intentional decisions that push you in a positive direction. After reflecting on this concept, you may realize you lean on your credit cards too often for purchases you don’t need and that don’t further your goals. You may also discover your propensity for giving comes from a long line of generous role models. 

Your money mindset also reveals both your positive and negative traits regarding financial management. This concept isn’t inherently intuitive. It’s critical to spend some time thinking through these questions and being honest with yourself about your attitude toward your money.

The best thing about a money mindset? Like perspectives, they can shift. Here’s a few ways you can change your mindset to improve your financial outlook. 

5 Steps to Change Your Money Mindset for the Better.

Personal finance fluctuates and changes, which always leaves room for improvement. Remember, your money mindset is something you can control. Here are some ways you can evolve and make progress: 

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1. Believe You are Destined and Deserve Success

Too often, a negative mindset leads people to give up on their financial goals. It’s important to approach your money from a place of openness, curiosity, and excitement. Believing that you can reach your goals and find success is the first step. Once you have that foundation, you’ll be able to construct habits that support those beliefs. 

This doesn’t mean your entire financial road will be paved with rainbows and sunshine, but it does mean you’ll allow yourself to find success. How can you shift this perspective? Spend some time setting new financial goals. Your goals are the foundation of your financial plan. Once you have your goals, set some key milestones to celebrate as you work toward them. 

Starting from a positive headspace will help you make choices that are aligned with those productive thoughts. 

2. Picture Your Future Self

Sometimes it’s crucial to flip this tough interview question back on yourself. Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20, even 30 years? Where have you grown? What have you accomplished? What do you want for your future self? Picturing your future can be a telling exercise as it can reveal if you’re on the right path to attaining it. 

Maybe starting your own business is a critical milestone in your life. You might suddenly realize you haven’t started saving for this venture or really thought about the type of business for you. Fill in those missing pieces so you can set yourself up and bring that future vision to life.

You might also try picturing your dream retirement. Where are you living? How are you spending your time? Are you fulfilled? When you can see your future self, you can find the motivation you need to get there. Maybe this year commit to maxing out your retirement accounts or increasing the contributions to your other investments. 

3. Give Freely and Generously

Your comfort level with giving back to causes, organizations, and people you care about says a lot about your money mindset. In general, those who intentionally make space for giving feel more confident, secure, and fulfilled with their money. 

Every person will have a different capacity for giving, but when you feel comfortable giving away some of your money, you’ll move from a space of scarcity to one of abundance. 

A scarcity mindset is a dangerous narrative, one that leaves you constantly chasing the idea of “enough”. Abundance, on the other hand, is about setting yourself up for financial success and structuring your money in a way that brings meaning and fulfillment. 

4. Immerse Yourself in Knowledge 

One of the best ways to combat negative habits is to learn healthier ones. Financial management isn’t simply intuitive, it’s something you need to work toward and spend time with to get right. 

• Take some time to read books, blogs, and articles. These resources can broaden your perspective and help you improve the areas where you’re struggling. 
• Talk with family and friends about the questions you have. They might be able to share their wisdom or perhaps just open a line of conversation. 
• Seek out a professional. A financial advisor can help address your money mindset and give you practical tools to improve it.

Knowledge is power and making the most of the resources available to you will help you shift your perspective.  

5. Know Where You Are and Where You Want to Be

To change something, you need to understand two elements:

• Where you are.
• Where you want to be.

Let’s use investing as an example. When you know you veer into a scarcity mindset when the topic of investing comes up, you can use the tools and resources around you to overcome those feelings. If you want to reach your financial goals, odds are you’ll have to embrace investing. 

To embrace the role investing plays in your finances, do some research on what investing means to you. Understand your risk tolerance, set goals, and work with someone you trust. All of these elements will help you build a positive and fulfilling mindset.

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Live Abundantly

Your money mindset powers your thoughts, attitudes, and perspectives toward your finances. Remember, you can control how you view, approach, and manage your money. By understanding your current money mindset, you’ll be able to create positive habits that help you accomplish your goals. 

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12 Tips for Making Better Decisions

Written by: Abdelmalek El Fanne

How you can make better decisions in your life?

The decisions we make play a vital role in our lives. In many ways, they shape our future. Yet, most people aren’t really conscious of just how impactful many of their decisions actually are.

They go through life without paying much attention to their thoughts or actions. Of course, we can not control everything that happens to us; but we can still make decisions that align with our life’s goals.

That said, you may feel very uncertain about how to make decisions that will steer your career, health, financial situation and relationships in the direction you want. If this rings true for you, then you may want to improve your decision-making process. Here are some effective tips to make better decisions!

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1 — Outline The Issue

It is difficult to make a good decision if you are not clear about what the issue really is! Clearly outlining the issue will help you focus on what you are really deciding on, while excluding unrelated aspects.

Start with a simple statement like: “What I need to decide is ….,” and also ask yourself why the decision is necessary or advantageous, and what is motivating you. Doing this will help you realize the effect your decision will have. Maybe you are considering buying a new car.

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Why do you want it or need it?

Can you afford it?

Are you willing and able to make the necessary payments?

Understanding the important issues involved can help you make better decisions.

2 — Take Control Of Your Emotions

What you are feeling about an issue can affect your decisions. It is therefore, important that you recognize what you are feeling, and deal with your emotions. Fear or uncertainty can lead you to avoid risk, and this can also affect other areas of your life.

If you are anxious about signing a loan agreement, for example, you might also shy away from other, less risky decisions — like: whether you should actually ask for that raise you might deserve. If however, you are an excitable person, you may be entirely too optimistic about your prospects.

You might take big risks — no matter how small the chances of success — if the profit is big enough. Gambling is a typical example of such behavior. So consider whether you are feeling depressed, excited, fearful, or maybe overly optimistic. Really think about how these feelings might be affecting your decision-making process.

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3 — Avoid Information Overload

People like to think that they are making informed decisions. And why not?

It certainly makes sense! Yet many get stuck constantly gathering information in order to be as certain as possible about any particular decision. This can lead to putting off the decision indefinitely.

At any point, take stock of the information you have, and decide what information is most useful toward making a decision. It’s helpful to differentiate what information is essential and what is not. If you catch yourself agonizing over a decision, clear your mind of it for a while. Do anything to get your mind off it. This will give your brain a chance to refocus on the essentials.

4 — Don’t Rely On Other People’s Opinions

If you ask others what YOU should do, you will most likely get conflicting opinions, and this can make it even more difficult for you to decide what is best — for you. Other people, after all, will analyze an issue based on their own values. And the more outside opinions you gather, the more confused and uncertain you will feel. There are exceptions of course. It is perfectly OK to talk with people who will be affected by your decision. It’s important to take them into account before you make a decision.

5 — Make Decisions Compatible With Your Values

Decisions that are in alignment with your core values will also motivate you to make them work. Any time you make an important choice that is NOT in line with your personal priorities or deeply felt principles, you will not be convinced of the rightness of your decision.

However, before you can do this, you need to really think about what your core principles and values are. Getting a clear idea of what is really important to you is vital! Write down those values that you feel most deeply about. Once you’ve done that, you can judge whether your decisions align with them or not.

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6 — Distance Yourself From The Decision

If you are too personally involved, any decision can be difficult to make. So, try to view the issue from a third person perspective.

Imagine that it is someone else’s decision. This will enable you to see issues more dispassionately. Let’s say for example, you are considering whether you should quit your job and begin another career. Pretend that you are advising someone else as to what decision he or she should make.

By stepping back and looking at the issue from a more disinterested perspective, you will be able to analyze the situation without feeling directly involved — and therefore, be able to make a more sober assessment of the possible results of any decision. Using this technique will also help you keep your emotions in check.

7 — Weigh Both Risks And Rewards

Every decision promises a desired outcome, but also comes with potential risk. When you are considering a decision, make a list of potential outcomes, both positive and negative.

You should also consider how other people may be affected. For every decision there are pros and cons. Although almost no decision you make will be without risk, make sure your decision promises results where the positive effects exceed the negative. Let’s say, that you are considering buying a new house. The pros of such a purchase could be that you will have more space, live in a better neighborhood and can take advantage of low mortgage rates. The cons could include an increase in monthly expenditures.

You may also consider what effect it might have on your overall financial situation.

What are the worst things that can happen as a result of your decision?

What are the clear advantages?

Also, what can happen if you don’t make any decision at all?

Be aware that making no decision, is a decision in itself!

8 — Avoid Typical Pitfalls

The way you think and choose can negatively affect the quality of your decisions. Even after you’ve outlined the issue; get useful information; and consider the pros and cons — you can still make a bad decision! It is important for you to detect your typical tendencies and pre-conceived ideas that can affect the way you make decisions. It is often everything but easy to make changes.

Yet a decision that takes you out of your comfort zone and represents a new direction is usually the best. Don’t make a decision just because you’re comfortable with it. We often seek information that merely confirms what we already want to do. This phenomenon is called “confirmation bias”. Gather information — no matter how disturbing it may seem, and really look at all aspects of the decision you are facing.

9 — Create An Action Plan

Simply deciding on something is not enough. You should formulate the steps you need to take, in order to realize your decision. Your action plan should also have a timeline for each step, as well as how you will integrate other people who are affected by your decision.

For example, if you decide to go on vacation, that may require you to take care of a number of things. You need to inform your employer well in advance and make sure that your tasks are covered in your absence. You should probably check your available finances and perhaps save some money. You should also plan your actual trip, book accommodations — and set a schedule for getting all of this done.

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10 — Commit To Your Decision

Don’t procrastinate or reconsider your decision. You’ve decided, so get going! Dedicate yourself to making your decision work. If you are hesitant because you are unsure of your decision or are considering various options or changes, then your decision has not accomplished anything.

DECIDE, then DO. Making a decision can be very difficult. Because you want to get it right, you may spend an endless amount of time considering just what you should do. If however, you do not follow through, you will not enjoy the rewards that your decision can bring you. If you wait too long thinking about whether to apply for that new job, for instance, someone else may fill out the application and get the job. You will miss out!

11 — Have A Backup Plan

You won’t make the best decision every time. Nobody does. Sometimes, a lack of time or information may force you to make hasty or uninformed decisions. Having said that, you probably consider a number of options when making a decision. So, if your decision does not work out as you hoped, you may have the chance to “do it over” and try out another option, or just start the decision-making process anew.

12 — Assess Your Decisions

People often neglect to think about their past decisions. However, analyzing and evaluating past decisions can help you make better ones in the future. When you examine your decisions, you will be able to identify which ones went well, which ones did not — and most importantly — why.

This will help you when you consider your next decision. Ask yourself questions like:

Was I satisfied with the result of my decision?

Could I have done something differently or better?

What can I learn from it?

Learning how to make better decisions can significantly improve how you live your life. If your decision-making process is efficient, you will be able to make faster decisions and feel much more confident about them. You will save time and spare yourself a lot of agony.

As you can see from these tips, you CAN actually become a better decision-maker. Even applying just a few of these steps will lead to better decisions! So, what’s YOUR decision-making process like?

Are you impulsive?

Do you think things through?

Do you procrastinate a lot?

I really wanna know! Share your thoughts and comments below!

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Source: https://medium.com/@abdelmalekel/12-tips-for-making-better-decisions-f600455fed79

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How To Bounce Back From Failure: 10 Habits That Sabotage Your Success

Never give up on yourself.

By Bryan Robinson, Ph.D. Psychotherapist in Private Practice and Author of 40 books.

Are you so afraid of failing that you’re willing to avoid any possibility of defeat? If so, you have already failed. Failure and success are flipsides of the same coin—twins, not enemies. You can’t have a right without a left, a back without a front, or a top without a bottom. Studies show that people recover quicker from automobile wrecks than psychological defeats. Smack down moments are unavoidable, and success is built on them. Avoidance of failure turns into avoidance of success. It might be a bitter pill to swallow, but to attain what you want you must be willing to accept what you don’t want.

Bummer, right? Not really. This frees you to get up and dust yourself off one more time than you fall and keep on going. Once you start to accept failure as an essential steppingstone to success, you can give yourself permission to stick your neck out and make the mistakes necessary to get where you want to go. 

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Bounce Back Higher Than You Fall

After a letdown, the key is to harness the strength in the places where you feel broken and bounce back higher than you fall. You build a backbone of steel by making sure after each failure that you try again, and if you fail again, make sure you fail better than the time before. Failure offers you an opportunity to grow and learn from your shortcomings. Failure is a frame of mind. You don’t actually fail until you choose to put that label on yourself. When you call yourself a failure, you start to feel, think, and behave like one. If you’re like most people, you won’t succeed at everything the first time, and every unsuccessful attempt isn’t a failure as long as you continue to try. If you want to succeed, think of failure as your teacher—your personal trainer—constantly raising the exercise bar so you can learn from your mistakes. 

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10 Habits that Sabotage Your Success

You want to change in order to succeed, right? But if you’re like many people, you set out in the wrong direction, unwittingly returning to your crappy old habits and behave in ways that take you down the opposite path of defeat. If you want to get closer to success, avoid the following 10 habits, so even if you do fail, you can fail better on each attempt, bounce higher, and stay on track:

1. Don’t have a plan.

You can fail if you don’t know what you want. And if you don’t know where you’re going, you never get there.

Develop a game plan so you know where you’re going and when you get there. If you have a definite goal that you’re setting out to achieve, a purpose that you’re trying to fill, you’re more likely to succeed.

2. Set unreasonable standards.

You can sabotage your success by setting unreachable deadlines that are humanly impossible to achieve. They’re called deadlines for a reason. You can kill yourself trying to make them, and if you’re dead you can’t succeed.

Set realistic lifelines that can give you more time, slow you down, and make you more productive and effective. When you set lifelines instead of deadlines, you’re less likely to hear that whooshing sound as deadlines go by or feel that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach for falling short. Work smarter and less. You’ll get more done, have fewer health problems, and live longer.

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3. Avoid failure.

People-pleasing and procrastination are two ways to play it safe and avoid taking risks. If you don’t try, you can’t fail. If you’re a people-pleaser, you avoid being judged and whittle yourself down to a stub. Procrastination provides you freedom from failure, too, in the short term, even though it derails your success in the long run.

Success happens outside of your comfort zone. Studies show that you have a greater chance of success if you stick your neck out. Be a creative risk taker, step into the unfamiliar and unpredictable, and stretch beyond customary bounds. Accept failure with open arms, learn from it, and take the perspective that failure happens for you, not to you.

4. Maintain a negative outlook.

Step back from challenges and stack your positivity deck. Focus on solutions instead of problems, look at the upside of a downside situation, and pinpoint an opportunity in every difficulty. Remember the personal resources you have at your disposal to overcome roadblocks. Look for gains in your loses and beginnings in your endings. Optimism rubs off, so hang out with positive people who lift you up. Studies show that optimists scale the success ladder faster and higher than pessimists. 

5. Beat yourself up.

Coming down hard on yourself when you forget or make a mistake reduces your chances of rebounding. Extinguish your blame thrower, put down your gavel, and chill your faultfinder. Studies show that you’re more likely to achieve success through a healthy dose of self-compassion. After a setback, be kind to yourself. Talk yourself off the ledge, and give yourself pep talks, atta-girls or atta-boys, and positive affirmations. Give yourself a thumbs-up every time you reach a milestone or important accomplishment.  

  6. Take setbacks personally.

When things don’t work out to suit you, do you say you’re jinxed, or blame it on Murphy’s Law (if something can go wrong, it certainly will)? When you personalize everyday random events into a negative life pattern, you lose your power and make yourself a victim of defeat.

If you want to empower yourself, make a U-turn when things are headed in a negative direction. Shift your perspective to see that life doesn’t have a personal vendetta against you. Focus on what you can do: “How can I make this situation work to my advantage?” or “Can I find something positive in this negative situation?” or “What can I manage or overcome in this instance?” Progression (success) and regression (failure) go together like a hand and glove. Falling back is part of moving forward. Success isn’t an upward straight line; it’s a zigzag back and forward until you reach your goals.

7. Ignore your physical and mental health.

Many ambitious people consider stress and burnout as the price to pay for success and a badge of honor for the sacrifice. But studies show the opposite to be true.

Amped-up self-care is the cornerstone for success: ample sleep, good nutrition, and regular exercise. Take time out of the daily grind to quiet your mind, meditate, take a power nap, or spend time in nature. Idle moments of mindfulness without imperatives—nothing to rush to, fix, or accomplish—actually contribute to your mental and physical health: greater productivity, better memory, stronger immune system, fewer health problems, greater happiness, and longer life. Doing nothing provides a period for important decisions to incubate and cultivates clarity and creativity to make your goals a reality.

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8. Refuse to take advice or be a team player.

Collaboration with others and learning from them is essential for success. It’s important to have a mind of your own and march to your own drum, but don’t be a know-it-all. Listen to those with tried and true experience who have gone before you. Reach out to others who have already accomplished what you’re working toward and understand what you’re going through. They might give you wise advice that will change your perspective and fuel your efforts to your goals.

9. Bolster your perfectionism.

In its clutches, perfectionism tightens you in a stranglehold, injects its rigidity into your bloodstream, and chokes the flow of spontaneous and flexible ideas. Perfection’s iron-fisted grip can cause you to set unrealistic goals, try too hard, and then avoid the impossible target you set for yourself. When you tell yourself nothing you do is good enough and shackle yourself to accept nothing short of perfect, you increase your chances of defeat. There’s no such thing as perfection. Your human condition is characterized by imperfection, so give yourself permission to be an imperfect human, to make mistakes, or to forget. Learn from your mistakes and be a master of self-correction. The paradox is that letting go of perfectionism, instead of slowing you down, propels you along the path to success.

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 10. Label yourself a loser.

Your biggest obstacle to success lies between your own two eyes. When you call yourself a failure, you identify with the very habit that limits you. You give tacit approval to fail and accept the label as you. This gives you unspoken permission to act as a person worthy of the label “loser,” and you repeat the habit of falling short in most things you do.

Labels are for jars and cans, not for you. Think of failure as a part of you, not as you. Stepping back and observing this part with an impartial eye lessens the self-judgment and keeps you from clobbering yourself. Refer to your failure in the third person and befriend it by talking to it so it doesn’t dominate your decision-making. Studies show that this strategy helps you to separate from the failure, for it to relax, and for the ambitious you to take charge of the task. When you practice this approach, you notice a heightened ability to scale the obstacles to success that the label throws in your way.

Source: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-bounce-back-from-failure-10-habits-that-sabotage-your-success/

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What Is Grit and How to Develop It for a Successful Life

Written By: Ashley Elizabeth

Have you ever met someone who thrives through adversity, and who transforms their pain into opportunities for growth? In her book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth describes these types of people as possessing grit. From her research, she has found that grit is what separates those who are successful from those who fail.

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So, what is grit, you may ask?

Passion + Perseverence = Achievement

In the words of Angela Duckworth herself,

“Grit is sticking with your future, day in and day out, and not just for the week, not just for the month, but years.”

The problem that a lot of people face is that they seek the shortcut to success. They want to work less while still achieving more. Unfortunately, that’s not how success works.

If you want to achieve your goals, you have to be willing to do anything and everything. I believe that the most meaningful goals require an insane amount of hard work, determination, discipline, commitment, and sacrifice. But get real with yourself — are you ready to go all-in? How bad do you want to succeed?

Why Is Grit Important?

Nothing of value in life comes easily. Success is never a coincidence.

Research indicates that the ability to be gritty — to stick with things that are important to you and bounce back from failure — is an essential component of success.^[1]

You can have all the talent in the world, but you will never achieve your goals without effort. This is why grit is the foundation of success.

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What Are the Characteristics of Grit?

The good news is that grit can be developed and mastered over time. However, you first need to adopt a growth mindset. Unfortunately, many people have a fixed mindset.

They are conditioned to believe that their intelligence cannot improve. While a fixed mindset is based in “I can” or “I can’t,” a growth mindset celebrates the journey from “I can’t” to “I can.”^[2]

Do you see your intelligence as fixed, or do you believe that you can grow and change?

Below are the characteristics of grit. Reflect upon the ones that you resonate with the most and still need to strengthen.

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Passion

Where there is passion, there is always a purpose. Passionate people know themselves inside and out. They have a clear understanding of their values, beliefs, and needs.

More importantly, they live in alignment with their truth and inspire others to do the same. Living with passion is about paying attention to and following what makes you come alive inside.

Not everyone will understand your path in life, and that’s okay. True grit is being able to tune out others’ judgments and stay in your lane.

Perseverance

I’ve never met a strong person who had an easy-breezy past. Persevering, despite all odds, is about learning how to sit with your darkness and soften into the discomfort.

The only difference between those who succeed versus those who fail is their willingness to persevere and continue failing forward. It’s knowing that your desire to achieve your dreams burns brighter than any obstacle.

Learn how to embrace discomfort and use pain as a tool to grow and become more. Celebrate yourself every step of the way and don’t stop until you’re insanely proud of the person you’ve become.

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Resilience

Gritty people are resilient, in the sense that they thrive through adversity. They reframe every challenge as an opportunity and do the work to become the master of their emotions.

Research reveals that resilience is a test of how tough you are. Instead, it has everything to do with your willingness to keep trying after others have given up.^[3]

Resilient people are conscious enough to know when it is time to surrender to the rollercoaster ride of life. Their ability to soften into what is can make room for what will be.

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What Is an Example of Grit?

It was like any other day in my life. I got on my motorcycle and rode off. Because I was just going up the road, I decided not to wear my helmet. Little did I know that this sudden decision would change my entire life.

I was supposed to be back home in 15 minutes, but that didn’t happen. Five minutes into riding my bike, I had an accident. I hit my head on the pavement, suffered a traumatic brain injury, and was rushed to the hospital to undergo surgery.

I remember the moment like it was yesterday. This experience left me with PTSD, post-concussion syndrome, chronic pain, and anxiety.

However, it also gave me a second chance to recreate my life and develop unshakeable mental strength and grit.

It’s been three years since my accident. I’m not the same person that I used to be. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I chose to transform my pain into power. To this day, I continue to pull upon my grit. It has become my superpower.

Let me be clear: I’m not special. I was just willing to do what was challenging for many. Giving up was never an option. How I have responded to my knockdowns has determined my success in life.

The obstacles that I faced along my healing journey (and still do to this day) had given me a strength that I never knew I had. Pain can be a gift if you are willing to find its meaning behind all the mess.

When you have the courage to use your pain as motivational strength, you will realize that there is nothing you cannot overcome.

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How Do You Develop Grit?

Grit is like a muscle that you train and flex at the gym. You need to do the same thing with your mind. Let’s explore what you can do to build mental toughness every day.

1. Practice, Practice, Practice

The fastest way to master anything is to practice and repeat it. To persevere, you have to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things. This is how you flex your grit muscle.

At the end of the day, grit comes down to what habits you engage in daily. It’s about doing the things you know you’re supposed to do on a more consistent basis that will contribute to your success.^[4]

The more that you invest in your personal growth, the more skilled you will become. In turn, you can keep doing the things that you excel at.

2. Connect With Your Purpose

Gritty people live on purpose.

After studying 16,000 people, Duckworth found that “grittier people are dramatically more motivated than others to seek a meaningful, other-centered life.”^[5]

The next time that you encounter an obstacle that tries to take you off course, reconnect with your why. It will be the one thing that motivates you to keep moving forward, even when you feel like throwing in the towel.

3. Don’t Give Up

When things get difficult, do you give up easily or use your low moments to push yourself forward and become stronger?

Gritty people look a challenge dead in the eye and give it a wink. They don’t quit until they win.

The only failure in life is quitting. Life is supposed to be messy. You’re supposed to fail. It’s a core part of the human experience. All that matters is how you respond to failure.

It’s okay if you fall seven times, as long as you make sure that you stand up on the eighth time. If you can master the art of never giving up, there is no limit to what you can achieve in life.

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The Bottom Line

You have one life, so make it a masterpiece.

The only limitations standing in your way are the ones in your mind. When you master your mind, you master your life.

Don’t ever give up on your dreams. Strive to be a gritty person in every area of your life.

Your future self will thank you for it.

Source: https://www.lifehack.org/884651/what-is-grit

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22 Simple Yet Effective Ways To Be More Patient

Patience isn’t something you would typically find listed as a positive trait on a resume, but there is no doubt that patient people tend to be more pleasant to be around, both in the workplace and in day-to-day life.

It’s also a skill that almost everyone could improve upon.

Whether you have been accused of being impatient, or you don’t need anyone to tell you patience is not a strong skill of yours, the good news is you can make improvements and become a more patient person.

Here’s a quick introduction to the benefits of patience, and no fewer than 22 ways to boost your proficiency in this area.

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The Benefits Of Patience

Patience is a virtue, but what does that mean exactly?

There are myriad benefits of being a patient person, both at work and in your private life. It generally means you:

• Are perceived as a more relaxed, friendly person
• Are better able to focus on goals
• Can make more rational decisions
• Are less prone to angry outbursts
• Can learn new things (rather than giving up out of impatience)
• Have stronger mental health, due to less stress

This single, often-overlooked skill offers numerous advantages, and fortunately, it is not something you have to be born with. Anyone can work to become more patient—all it takes is a few smart strategies like these:

1. Practice Being Patient

It might sound simple, but practicing patience truly is a legitimate way to improve your patience. After all, how do you improve your skills in playing the piano? Or making the perfect poached egg? Practice, practice, practice.

Everyday life will no doubt provide you with ample opportunities to practice your patience, but if you would prefer to have more focus and control when practicing, try a few of these things:

• Read a difficult novel, such as War and Peace
• Complete a large jigsaw puzzle, or a book of Sudoku
• Commit to cooking meals from scratch
• Take public transport to work
• Ban yourself from looking at your phone while waiting for appointments
• Offer to babysit for a friend or family member

All of these tasks require patience—-they force you to wait and push you to remove expectations, which are keys to becoming more patient.

2. Focus On Why You Are Impatient

Focusing on the reason behind your impatience can help you shine a spotlight on your impatience.

Do you detest waiting in line at the grocery store because you’re hungry and want to get home to eat? Or because you’re running late for an event?

Inspect the real reasons why why you’re feeling impatient. When you acknowledge those reasons, you may be better placed to take control over those feelings and stop stressing about them.

3. Remind Yourself That You Are Merely Uncomfortable

Life is the longest thing any of us will do, but sometimes, mere minutes can feel like they stretch an eternity.

When you are in these situations—like being put on hold or stuck in traffic—it can feel extremely uncomfortable. You are waiting with little to no control over the situation.

However, try to remember you are simply uncomfortable. These situations are not impossible, or life-threatening, so even though it may not be enjoyable, it is certainly bearable. Learning to recognize and accept discomfort may make it easier to cope with.

4. Distract Yourself

Many situations that demand patience simply require you to wait, such as a long plane ride or a lengthy line at a restaurant.

In these scenarios, there’s nothing you can do to speed things up, but you can fill that time productively – so distract yourself.

Listen to a podcast, type out a quick email you’ve been meaning to write, beat the next level on Candy Crush, or complete your daily minutes on DuoLingo to learn a new language. There are always ways to fill time that don’t include simply fuming over the situation and feeling angry or negative.

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5. Know What Triggers Your Impatience

If the lightbulb in your bathroom blows one morning, it’s probably going to be little more than a minor inconvenience in your day. If it blows for the fourth time in a month, you’d have to be a saint not to lose your patience.

Most of us have common triggers that set off feelings of impatience, and they often come from recurring events. This could be anything from noisy neighbors every night to kids not tidying away their shoes after school.

Recognizing these triggers can help you manage your impatient responses. You can either find ways to alleviate or avoid them (perhaps with a call to your local council, or rewards for tidy children), or learn to accept that they will continue to occur and that you being impatient won’t help in the slightest.

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6. Practice Empathy

In many cases, the reason for your impatience is another person, and in most cases, a little empathy can go a long way.

For example, imagine you’re stuck behind an elderly gentleman or woman in line at the grocery store, fuming as you watch them slowly count out their cash and coins.

This is your time to take a moment to remember to be empathetic rather than impatient. Even if they are making you run late, think of them as your own elderly relatives, your own loved ones.

Reminding yourself that the “cause” of your impatience is only human, and that they’re likely doing the best they can, may help you feel considerably more patient in the moment.

7. Practice Meditation And Mindfulness

Meditation and mindfulness are useful tools for dealing with practically any negative emotion, and they are especially effective for impatience.

Mindfulness is considered to be a mental skill in which proponents pay attention to the present moment, allowing them to feel aware of thoughts and feelings, and be grateful for the small things. Meditation is a chance to simply breathe, feel the body relax, and focus on nothing more than the next breath, which can help ‘reset’ thinking and move the focus away from negative emotions.

These two practices together can offer a powerful antidote to the stress of impatience, and various studies have even documented their positive effects on lowering blood pressure, decreasing anxiety and stress, and improving blood circulation.

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8. Make Use Of Patience-Building Apps

They say there’s an app for everything these days, so naturally, there’s software that can help you improve your patience, de-stress, and improve mindfulness.

Here are a few apps that can help:

• Headspace – A personal meditation guide
• Smiling Mind – A mindfulness app that lets you track your mood
• Personal Zen – A science-based app created to reduce stress and anxiety
• Calm Build Patience – An app that delays your text reply time to reduce rash messages
• Happify – An app to build resilience and improve mental health

Even though some of these apps are not designed purely for patience building, they are all focused on mental health in some form, which can affect your propensity for impatience.

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9. Note Down Your Impatience

Sometimes simply acknowledging a bad habit can help reduce it. Consider how people use “swear jars” to stop themselves from swearing. You can apply this same sort of method to your impatience.

Use the notepad app in your phone or a physical diary to write down every instance when your impatience bubbled over.

You will quickly be able to identify common trends and triggers, as well as see how much time you are wasting on being impatient. You may also be able to look back on a situation with more objectivity now that you have calmed down, and realise that your impatience was unfounded, which might better prepare you to deal with a similar situation in future.

10. Retrain Or Teach Those Who Make You Impatient

In some cases, your impatience will stem from someone else’s incompetence, mistakes, or failure to follow procedure. This generally occurs at work, although impatience can also stem from partners, friends, children or companies you employ for services.

In these cases, the problem could be solved by you spending some time retraining or teaching those involved.

Whether it is someone at work who makes regular repeated mistakes, or a housekeeping company that cleans your house incorrectly each week, these are issues you can improve with training.

For example, if you are feeling impatient because your assistant at work keeps sending emails riddled with typos, you can sit down with them to improve the situation. You could talk through the more common or embarrassing misspellings, or help them install a better spellchecker.

It will take a time investment now, but should remove the cause behind your impatience in future.

11. Give Yourself A Break

Give yourself a time out – literally.

Go outside for 10 minutes, take a quick walk around the block, or simply walk away from the cause of your impatience.

This quick break can help you to clear your head and approach the issue with problem-solving logic rather than unhelpful impatience.

12. Accept What You Cannot Change

Many situations in life require patience, and often there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Perhaps you’re waiting to hear back from the bank, or you’re waiting to recover from an injury so you can get out and exercise again. These things simply take time, and stressing about it doesn’t help the situation — or you.

Acknowledge these moments, and strive to accept them. Overanalyzing and overthinking them will only stress you out further, but if you accept that you can’t change the situation, you’ll be free to let your mind wander to more positive places.

Consider employing a mantra in these scenarios, something like, “This is out of my control, so I’m going to do my best not to let it stress me out.” Sometimes saying things out loud can help you effectively internalize them.

13. Focus On The Bigger Picture

Will the cause of your impatience matter in five years’ time? Will it even matter in five hours?

Often, the reason behind why you might be feeling impatient is not the end of the world, and by reminding yourself that it doesn’t interfere with the bigger picture, you may be able to let it go more easily.

If something small or insignificant is driving you batty, try to place it in the context of the bigger picture. For example, if you’re frustrated that you were overcharged for a milkshake at the drive through, consider whether the extra dollar or two will actually impact your financial wellbeing. If the answer is no, then do your best to focus on the sweet treat and not the surprise expense.

14. Remember The Goal

Slightly different from “thinking of the bigger picture,” remembering the goal is a way to move through impatience by keeping a specific reason in mind.

For example, waiting out a toddler’s tantrum is never easy, but the reason you’re doing it might be to teach them that screaming doesn’t result in them getting what they want. Or perhaps you are putting up with a difficult situation at work, knowing that your perseverance will put you in good stead for a promotion.

No matter the exact situation, if you have a specific reason for putting yourself through discomfort, maintain laser focus on that reason instead of wallowing in the discomfort itself.

15. Find Healthy Ways To Alleviate Your Impatience

Finding a healthy outlet for negative emotions is a useful skill for anyone, and for any unwanted feelings.

Some find an outlet through various forms of exercise, such as running or yoga, while others turn to creative outlets like scrapbooking or writing, and others again enjoy productive activities such as cooking or gardening.

Find outlets for your frustrations, and turn to them whenever you feel overwhelmed.

16. Look To Others

Look around you – how are other people dealing with the same difficult situation?

There are many times when you’re not suffering through trying situations by yourself, and by being surrounded by others, you have two options for dealing with it.

In the first, you can learn from other people. Watch how they deal with it and emulate their calm response to improve your own patience.

In the second, you can be the one leading by example. Even if you’re feeling ready to scream internally, an audience can help you to rein in your annoyance and put on a face of stoicism and practicality.

17. Remember That You Won’t Become A Patience Guru Overnight

This sound a bit ironic, but be patient with your patience.

A man who attempts a marathon with zero training will unsurprisingly not make it far. It takes regular training to become adept in any skill, and learning to become more patient is no different.

Know that you will make mistakes, become impatient, and struggle. Know that one week of trying strategies to make you more patient won’t magically transform you. It takes time to form a habit, and the only way to achieve your goal is to simply keep trying.

18. Allow Yourself To Be Impatient – Sometimes

There are some events in life that are too onerous, too frustrating, and too disappointing to merely take a deep breath and move on. In these rare moments, you can allow yourself to be impatient.

Telling yourself that you’ll never again feel impatient is akin to telling yourself you’ll never eat another French fry. And just like a strict diet, the occasional indulgence can be key to letting these impulses out of your system.

As long as you aren’t hurting someone, venting your frustration to a friend, finding a pillow to punch, or going somewhere isolated to let out a releasing scream can help you get over the impatience faster, even if you are giving into it somewhat.

It may help you be patient the rest of the time, knowing that you can save your impatience for moments that truly warrant it.

19. Focus On The Small Wins

Certain processes take a long time, and it can feel like you’re making zero progression despite your efforts.

However, even in these cases, there are likely still small – even microscopic – successes along the way. Focus on these small wins to remind yourself that progress is being made, even if it is at a snail’s pace.

A good example is buying a home. This process begins with visiting seemingly endless open homes, talking to countless real estate agents, comparing mortgage options, looking at the pros and cons of various suburbs, and that’s just the beginning. It’s a process that takes patience, but with every decision made and every piece of paper signed brings you one step closer to the final goal. Celebrate those small moments as individual steps that lead you to the top.

20. Destress In Other Areas

As often as not, losing patience is a symptom. You may be overtired, stressed, or otherwise feeling down, which creates an atmosphere in which the slightest grievance can feel like the most cumbersome hurdle.

Instead of putting your focus on maintaining your cool in tough situations, move your energies towards de-stressing in other areas.

This could mean:

• Taking on less work
• Delegating more tasks
• Taking time off for yourself
• Prioritizing sleep
• Booking a holiday

Whatever method you find to reduce your everyday stress, you may find it easier to improve your patience by cutting away the underlying reason why you’re feeling so impatient in the first place.

21. Pride Yourself In Your Patience

When you consider patience to be a skill – just like baking or piano playing – you can allow yourself to take pride in it.

When you pride in your patience, you will start to see yourself as someone who is adept at patience. In this case, it could be a “fake it till you make it” experience – seeing yourself as patient can help you become truly patient, faster.

In a tense moment, this self reminder can help you hold onto your composure, and exude nothing but patience.

22. Ask Others For Help

Finally, if it’s not a situation that you can improve, you may be able to ask others for their help instead.

For example, perhaps you are struggling through writing a report at work when other team members are not contributing their share. Before you quickly lose patience with everyone, talk to upper management about the issue, and ask for help in ensuring your team members play their roles.

Losing patience rarely happens in a vacuum, and since other people are therefore almost always involved, there will almost always be an opportunity to reach out.

When It Doesn’t Pay To Be Patient

Despite all of the ways you can become more patient, you must also keep in the back of your mind the idea that you don’t always have to be patient. In some cases, putting on a stoic face is more damaging than confronting an issue head on.

Perhaps your boss is prevaricating on giving you a pay rise you were promised, or perhaps a partner is treating you poorly and expecting you to be nothing but patient with them.

In such scenarios, remember your self worth, and don’t put patience before your own wellbeing.

Overall, patience is every bit of a virtue as the saying goes, and then some. Teaching yourself how to be more patient can pay off for your wellbeing, your work, and your relationships, and perhaps then you can add this hugely beneficial skill to your resume after all.

Source: https://www.consulting.com/how-to-be-more-patient

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8 POWERFUL WAYS TO MAINTAIN PERSISTENCE SO YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS

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Persistence is the ability to continue to get up no matter how many times you’ve been knocked down. It requires will power, flexibility, strength of character, determination and a desire to succeed at all costs.

If there was one common denominator that could be applied to successful people, it would be persistence.

The value of persistence lies in maintaining your goal while re-positioning yourself to get there without continually hitting your head against a brick wall.

So, what can you do to maintain persistence?

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Here are 8 tips to help you persist and achieve your goals:

1. Maintain your Vision

Decide what you want out of life, and then work with a vision for the future. Keep your goal firmly planted in the front of your mind so that every action step you take will lead you closer to achieving what you want.Explore the possibilities and much more!

2. View Setbacks as Life Lessons

Nobody achieves their goals with one straight shot at the target. Understand there will be setbacks, failures and mistakes but don’t let a negative or sideways step move you off the path.

Mistakes are merely “life lessons” so view each backward or sideways step as an opportunity to learn.

3. Act with Courage

Don’t allow fear of failure to stop you. As human beings, we all fail from time to time. It’s the winners who get back up and start again. Act with courage and determination to achieve the things you want in life.

4. No doesn’t mean “No”

There will always be those who will try to discourage and dishearten you. There will also be those who say “No”.

“No” isn’t a personal affront. Nor does it mean “Stop”. “No” may simply mean “this doesn’t suit me right now” or “I’d rather do it a different way”.

If you hit a brick wall of “No’s”, simply back-track and find a new and brighter path to travel to reach your destination.

5. Exert Control over your Actions

Make a conscious decision to make every step count. Keep your vision clear in your mind at all times so that your actions become a part of the process to get you where you want to go.

6. Think Creatively

Often we become so fixed on the goal, we forget that other options exist. Be prepared for the fact that not only will the road to achieving your goals take a number of unexpected turns, the goal posts may shift too. Allow yourself to stay flexible and understand that what you originally envisioned may alter to become a fresher, more realistic outcome.

7. Believe in Yourself

Have faith in the fact you will achieve your goal, no matter what circumstances or situations arise. When times get tough – and they usually will – keep your focus clear and don’t get bogged down in “I can’t” or “I won’t”.

8. Pick a Support Team

You don’t have to do it alone. Gather a team of family and friends who you know you can count on to offer your support and guidance when the going gets tough. There is nothing like a friendly pat on the back to keep you going when you feel you’ve given as much as you have to give.

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Source: https://www.accountabilitycoach.com/8-powerful-ways-to-maintain-persistence-so-you-can-achieve-your-goals/

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How to Believe in Yourself in the Face of Overwhelming Self-Doubt

Written By Melissa Ng

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” ~Honore de Balzac

You know what that voice in your head says…

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You can’t do it. You’ll never be good enough. You’re going to fail.

This voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It beats you down when you struggle to stand up against its running commentary.

You know you shouldn’t let self-doubt bother you, but it’s a sneaky critter. Sometimes, you just can’t contain it and it slips past your barriers.

And self-doubt is greedy. When it’s loose, it devours your confidence, strips logic and reason from your mind, and steals happiness from your heart. In return, it leaves you with only fear and insecurity.

You try to remove self-doubt by forcing yourself to “think positive,” which usually doesn’t work as well as you think it should.

The more you fight your self-doubt, the more it fights back. However, with self-knowledge and understanding, you can use self-doubt for your benefit.

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A Story about Crushing Dreams and “Being Realistic”

When I was a child, I was in love with drawing. For me, drawing was as exciting as going to the playground.

At some point in my childhood, I decided I’d become an artist of some kind. But the critics in my life were quick to cut me down. I’ll bet you’ve heard the same kind of clichés:

“Art is great but not a ‘realistic’ future goal. While it’s a nice hobby to have, you can’t really make a living out of it. You’ll just be another starving artist.”

As children, we internalize these negative messages and parrot them back. If the adults say so, it must be true, right? By adulthood, every time we have a small hope, we’re the first to snuff it out: 

“Drawing is nice but not necessary. I’ll never be as good as the real professionals anyway. I don’t even have a degree from an accredited art school.”

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For years I stopped myself before I even tried. I did it because I was afraid.

I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid everyone would hate my art. I was afraid of failing as an artist.

When fear grabs you, your beloved goal forever feels out of reach. But it doesn’t just stop there, does it?

If left unchecked, the infectious bite of fear and self-doubt can spread. You unconsciously start questioning your knowledge and abilities in everything you do. And if you’re like me, you desperately want to find a cure.

One fateful day I realized that trying to beat out my self-doubt wouldn’t rebuild my confidence.

If I wanted to believe in myself, I needed to face my self-doubt and be willing to take care of it.

Before, I imagined self-doubt as a life-sucking monster. Now, I realize it’s actually a fearful, angry, and lost creature secretly crying for help.

Like fear, joy, and sadness, doubt is part of human nature, and it needs understanding. If you want to improve yourself, you need to tame your self-doubt, not fight with it.

That means paying attention to how you react to things, understanding the root of your insecurities, and taking steps to address your fears.

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Now I no longer tell myself, “I’ll never be a good enough artist.” Instead, I ask myself, “What can I do to become better?” And I take baby steps.

I went from drawing every few weeks, to every week, and now every two to three days. Re-framing self-doubt has also helped me cope with other challenges, like successfully starting a small business.

Self-doubt doesn’t have to be as monstrous as we make it out to be. It’s all about perspective. The following tips will help you manage your self-doubt.

Identify and ease your doubts.

Learning how to recognize when your self-talk takes a turn for the worse is crucial. When you hear yourself saying, “I can’t,” or, “I don’t know,” or, “What if,” a red flag should go up.

Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t do X,” say, “I can’t do X yet. But I’m working on it.”

Or if you start wondering, “What if I fail?” you can respond by saying, “Then I’ll try again.”

Doing this transforms a negative situation into an opportunity for growth. In the end, it’s about giving yourself a chance.

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Stop listening to people who bring you down.

Some people are convinced that everything is impossible, and they are quick to shoot down ideas. They’ll poison your mind into a state of hopelessness.

Don’t let them steal your energy just because they’ve lost theirs.

Instead, surround yourself with supportive and passionate people who can both inspire you and bring out the best in you. You can find them among friends, family, books, or blogs like Tiny Buddha.

They will lift you up when you feel down and help you see the bright side of your darkest fears and doubts.

Recall your successes.

This one is tough. When you’re down, you’ll more easily remember the bad instead of the good. And oftentimes, the “rah-rah” pep talk just doesn’t cut it.

So, I suggest writing a list. Grab a piece of paper or small notebook, or open a blank document. Now write down your successes, big or small.

If you’re a bit bashful about your achievements, ask someone you trust to tell you the great things they think you’ve done. It’s refreshing and a great confidence boost.

And finally, keep your list with you at all times. It will help you find your way back to yourself whenever you get lost.

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Trust and love yourself.

You probably spend more time being your own worst enemy instead of being your own best friend.

But you deserve to treat yourself better. After all, you have the rest of your life to spend with yourself.

Think of it this way: Would you mentally abuse or condemn your loved ones? Would you let them suffer in their time of need? If not, then why would you do it to yourself?

So, be kind to yourself. You are more capable and worthy than you give yourself credit for.

Give yourself permission to try…and try again.

Self-doubt never disappears. Over time, you just get better at dealing with it.

It will greet you every time you fall out of your comfort zone and whenever you strive to do something great.

But know that it’s not something you have to fear or resent. Your doubts are only thoughts, not your future.

Sure, something may go wrong. But if you never try, you’re losing an opportunity to improve your life.

Are you willing to risk that instead?

Source: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-believe-in-yourself-in-the-face-of-overwhelming-self-doubt/

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14 Steps to Develop a Winning Attitude

Attitude. It’s a common word. I love its mystique. It should be an all-the-time thing, but people who think they have a good one often slip at the first hint of trouble. The others, who maintain a good one with regularity, are likely getting help from attitude’s brethren of the faith variety. All will always turn out well.

Attitude is also similar in nature to self-esteem. Someone can’t give it to you. You have to build it on your own. It’s lonely and self-taught.

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How can you teach yourself to develop a winning attitude?

How you think and what you think about…

Focus on your passions. Give yourself a leg up by focusing on the things you love. It’s much easier to develop a great attitude when you’re doing something you love. Not sure what you’re passionate about? Check out How to Determine Your Purpose in Life in Fewer Than 600 Words.

Think positively. This might be easier for me to type than for you to do. Start small. Repeat. Think back on your life. Have you, for the most part, been successful? If so, why would you allow the thought of some fictitious improbable future prevent you from thinking positively at this moment? It’s actually more likely that all will turn out well. Try it. It works.

Slow down the speed of your emotions. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, take a deep breath. You need to practice becoming mindful of your racing thoughts because your automatic thinking and behaviors have unfortunately become automatic.

The environment you build for yourself…

Set goals high and monitor progress instead of specific results. Being realistic never changed anything. Being “unrealistic” does. Set goals for yourself that are higher than you can imagine. This might sound contrary to breeding positivity and it will be if all you focus on are the outcomes of your attempts. Enjoy the journey along the way and pay attention to what you’re accomplishing as opposed to the target goal you set for yourself. It’s the one time I suggest you look back in proportion to looking forward. Get into process and out of outcome. Read Out of Reach But in Sight: Using Goals to Achieve Your Impossible.

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Make sure you can commit. Setting high goals is ridiculous if you can’t commit to working toward and achieving them. This exercise also involves determining the things in your life you will need to sacrifice to achieve what you want.

Behavior plays a key part…

Don’t ever give up—being true to yourself. Let’s get something straight. Winners quit. They quit the right things at the right times. They also choose the right things to start and focus only on those things. That’s why you wouldn’t consider thinking of them as quitters. If you’ve entangled yourself in something that isn’t your passion, be true to yourself and find something else that is. It’s your life. You’re only lying to yourself if you continue doing something you don’t want to.

Make no excuses. You are a victim of your own vibration. You are accountable for everything you do and everything that happens to you. Accept it. Own it. If you ignored the other thirteen items in this post, this one alone will carry you to the right place.

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Relationships make the world go ‘round…

Surround yourself with the right people. You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Do the math. Relationships are meant to empower you and should never victimize you. If any relationship isn’t helping you become who you want to be, walk away. Speaking of…

Avoid the wrong people. I call this addition by subtraction. It’s different than surrounding yourself with the right people and a little more painful.

A healthy mindset gives you stylish rose-colored glasses…

Be grateful. It’s impossible to have a bad attitude when you have gratitude. Be grateful for everything you have because there are people who will never have what you have today.

Believe. Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right. Whether you think you will or won’t, you’re right. I’ve never met a person I didn’t believe in and I know more people than anyone I know. If I believe in you, you should too.

Have faith. Pair faith with belief and all will turn out well. I pinky swear.

Plan, do, learn, fix, and repeat…

Prepare for the best, worst, and everything in between. You’ll sleep better at night knowing you have all contingencies covered.

Learn. Your life will never get easier, but I assure you, you will get wiser. You might as well enjoy the getting wiser part.

Source: https://milewalk.com/mwblog/14-steps-to-develop-a-winning-attitude/

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A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

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9 Killer Tips to Become a Winner in Life

Written by: CRIS NIKOLOV

How and why you should become a winner in life!

Since ancient times, society has always praised  winners. Winning is and has become the central core of society , and everything that we do revolves around this one dynamic. And I just want to add a favorite quote “Winners never quit and quitters never win”.

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The benefits of winning

Victory tastes very sweet and there are many advantages to winning, as the harder the win was, the sweeter the taste of victory is.  You start feeling better about yourself and you improve your confidence, you boost up your morale and your desire to win, becomes greater than the fear of losing.

So you ask how to become a winner?
Here you go – 9 killer tips to become a winner in life.

1. Set up specific goals, you need to know where you are going.

Imagine you are in a race, but you don’t know where is the finishing line, would you be able to win? No, you wouldn’t. That’s why you need a specific target, you need to know exactly what direction are you going in, and where  the finishing line is.  And learn to work towards something rather than working aimlessly.

2. You need to learn to take responsibility for your actions

You can’t blame others for your mistakes, and you can’t use excuses. Winners are people that are self aware about their own mistakes, they understand that it’s their choices and decisions that brought them there. Winners don’t use excuses, they find solutions.

 3. Form a winning habit

Strange right? But that’s what you have to do. You have to form a winning habit, and habits are hard to develop. To form a winning habit, you need to start looking things at a different perspective, you have to look at them like challenges. You should try to challenge yourself daily, form a habit of doing every day something you couldn’t do before.

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4. Don’t be afraid to fail

You shouldn’t be afraid to fail, what you should do is learn to accept your failures as a lesson. You shouldn’t let failing demotivate you, you should get the best out if it, and that’s the lesson and you should use that lesson as a guide to help you win next time.

5.  Be eager to learn every day

Try to learn something new every day, read a book or meet new people or do something different. Because when it comes to winning, having more knowledge is basically power.

6. Take risks

Don’t be afraid of taking a risk. Because if you are too cautious, you might miss the opportunity and you might not have a second one.

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7. Stay focused

Keeping your focus towards the finishing line is what matters.  Don’t slack, always keep your mind and focus towards your goal. Because if you are not focused, then you are not doing things seriously! And if you are not doing things seriously you can’t become a winner guys.. It’s simple!

8. Visit motivationgrid.com every day (joking) ! Be committed

The main difference between losers and winners is that winners are committed to winning. Winners know what they want and therefore do whatever they have to do, to get there. You need to stay dedicated in order to become a winner in life.

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9. You have to be willing to work harder than others

And in the end it all comes to working hard. Let me give you an example with  sports – If your competition is doing 200 push ups every day, you have to do 300.  Don’t forget that the more effort you put, the better results you will have, and that’s not only in sports, it applies to all fields of life.

A mix of hard work and determination can get you anything in life.

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Source: https://motivationgrid.com/9-killer-tips-become-a-winner-in-life/

4 Remarkably Powerful Mindset Traits Successful People Share

Written by Ajit Nawalkha

Success is a mind game. If you don’t believe this, take a look around.

There are a whole lot of people who have extraordinary talent, passion and mad skills but they aren’t killing it in business or winning in the game of life. Do you know a gifted web designer or coach who’s barely making ends meet?

Maybe you’re friends with an incredibly smart and driven entrepreneur who can’t pay the rent. Maybe that talented but not very successful person is you. You could be thinking, “I know I have the skills to succeed but I have no idea how I’m going to pay the bills this month.”

When it comes to rising to the top, talent, skills and passion are just part of the game plan. The rest? It’s all about your mindset.

Here are 4 of the most powerful mindset traits successful people share. Check them out. Then play up the ones you have and work on the ones you don’t.

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Success Mindset Trait #1: Start. And Then Finish

You’re all set to achieve your goals. You’re driven and you’re geared up. You don’t mind doing the work to get there. In fact you’re looking forward to it.

So, when exciting projects and collaborations enter your radar, you say yes…to all of them. You think being successful is about having a bunch of amazing projects going at the same time. I hate to be the one to tell you this but that’s not true.

Truly successful people are very careful about choosing the projects they’re going to work on. Their main focus is to follow through and finish what they start. No matter how good the project, no matter how great the idea, you won’t see results or massive forward movement in your life and business if you never finish what you start.

Remember: going all out for one or two good projects beats going halfway on a hundred great projects. Always.

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Success Mindset Trait #2: Go for Growth

In her book “Mindset: Changing the Way You Think to Fulfil Your Potential”, Stanford University Psychologist Dr. Carol S. Dweck explains that successful people have a growth mindset.

A growth mindset arises from the belief that achieving success is about continuous, consistent improvement. If you have a growth mindset you see success as a journey rather than a destination. This means you’re always open to learning and improving until you achieve your goals.

Successful people have a growth mindset and they’re happy to keep trying until they get what they want. They’re willing to try all kinds of strategies and techniques because they know they’ll eventually get them where they want to go… And they’re right.

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Success Mindset Trait #3: Develop Positive Inner Beliefs

This one’s about checking your negative beliefs at the door. You need to believe you can succeed before you do because your beliefs influence your outer behaviours and actions.

When you have a strong belief in your ability to succeed, you’ll naturally direct your focus toward solutions rather than problems. If your beliefs about yourself and your ability to hit your goals are negative, it’s almost impossible to achieve what you set out to do.

Even if you manage to get to your goal, the road to success will be a very steep all-uphill climb. Every win will feel like a hard won war. Every obstacle will feel insurmountable. Most people give up long before they get to the top.

Successful people avoid this pitfall because they can take forward actions that are consistent with their positive inner beliefs. They’re able to get up off the couch and take the right actions that help them become super achievers. Those who don’t believe they can handle obstacles won’t even try. They lose even before the game begins.

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Success Mindset Trait #4: Accept Yourself

Successful people understand who they are. They know their goals and dreams inside and out. They know their values, their skills and their abilities. They are also incredibly clear about their weaknesses. They don’t try to be amazing at everything and they don’t try to be someone they’re not.

If you can’t stand parties and networking events, maybe staying at home and connecting via online events might be best for you. If you know you can’t navigate the uncertainty of entrepreneurship, maybe work for someone you like and trust that it’s the path which will bring you the most joy and fulfilment.

High achievers never forget that their mindset is where it’s at when it comes to achieving ongoing success.

When you make an effort to work on your mindset, all your other incredible personality traits and skills will come together to propel you to your destination.

And the added benefit? You’ll have a lot more fun getting there.

source: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/4-remarkably-powerful-mindset-traits-successful-people-ajit-nawalkha/

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